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Disgraced and denounced
The solution that you’d found
Was to ask me to defy what I am
Despite that I’ll continue to struggle on

Weight down with guilt and resentment
I keep the truth from the light of day
If there’s a benevolent creator
Why have I been made in this way?

Looking out on a world that doesn’t understand pain
At least not in my way
I’m forced to conceal the truth in myself
For fear of it getting out

This demon that dwells in my heart
Has been the reason for all of my suffering
An undeniable part of myself
That in solitude threatens to swallow me whole

I’ve been led astray by these insecurities
They’ve permeated the walls of my conscience
A conditional existence of shame
That only those of my affliction could begin to explain

I’ve been trying to convince myself
That my heart still beats
For a reason between dreams
If this is who I am
Then why should I be forced to betray my only identity

Any chance of peace has been taken from me
By the sounds of an era in which it’s shameful to be at peace
This wall of lies has consumed my soul
And I’m prepared for some honesty
To those who’d stand between a man and the life he was made for
To see his soul bared would force you through pain you’re not worthy of

Dehumanized in the guise of piety
More hate than love in this “house of god”
I’m trying to make a stand
Though I hardly have faith enough to believe
That someday I’ll possess the strength
I need to show the truth inside me

And you say I made a choice
But what choice could there be
I’m not the man that’s been expected of me
Is not my life my own?


from Catharsis, released June 24, 2012



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